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Backtracking my entries, I realized I’d always write here when I feel some form of heaviness. I was told that writing helps cure heavy feelings and after applying it to myself I can say it really does. I’d write an entry and feel better. And after another entry I’m cured haha! I’m kidding! Although it may look like it because I would be post-less after that.

I’d like to write some more, and this blog is always at the back of my head, but I’d find myself always thinking of my motive why I’d write again. I read one site that says to begin “blogging” you must find your niche, your passion, a hole in the market… and well, I don’t think I have those locked down haha! But, most writing 101 tips would say that above all, you should write for yourself. And that I think I can really relate to now.

Back in college, I kept planners. I’d write tasks in them, reminders, and what I didn’t know back then would be my favorite – snippets of how my day went. Example – “Zaide with Pol. What a day! Left phone. Celery’s for lunch. ACTBAS quiz.”  – basically where I went that day, what I ate, things I did. They are, in hindsight, one of the best things I decided to do. Through those strings of one liners I remembered days I would probably not be able to recall, or at least not in detail, and it made me happy.

But I fell out of consistency post college and continually fell out of it each time I started again and thus plenty of memories may never be relived. This makes me sad because despite awkward moments and lower than low days, there are a lot I would like be reminded of. So, I think this is my new motivation. I’d write to remember. Also, since this is public, to share and maybe spark connections that would make fuller lives. And if through this I’d find my niche or my passion or what not then it would be more than what I asked for.

Serving more posts after this!

– Gemma

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Not to resume blog writing on a pessimistic note but…

Yesterday was one of those days again.

Just a couple of weeks back I was feeling refreshed and optimistic after taking a sick leave from work. I had been organizing events here and there which left me drained and too lethargic to be productive. But after that day of rest, reading the latest Harry Potter book in one sitting, and basically doing whatever I pleased at home, I was in my go-getter, career-driven, let’s-do-this mode.

That lasted 2 weeks. And yesterday was one of those days again. The kind where you want to quit your job then you question yourself what you’d rather be doing only to hear a mess of answers in your head. Where you’d question yourself about what you’re good at doing because you feel that’s the right way to start. Or what you feel you want to do… because what you want to do and what you’re good at doing may be entirely different… because you know, life doesn’t always equip everyone with the skills, innate ability, or sheer luck to do what they “love” to do.

Such chaos in my head! I’m kidding. Well, I’m not. But I am reminded of people with heavier baggage and I immediately think my reaction is probably too much. Then I contradict this statement by thinking I should not always be relating my experiences to others. This prevents full awareness of one’s feelings and emotions, which may lead to a prolonged disheveled psyche, which may ultimately culminate to an outburst.

I rest my case. Haha!

Ahhh writing is good. Writing all that feels good. I am glad.